You may know, or be, a writer. If so, you know the signs of Deep Thought: eyes staring dreamily into space; the ability to sit still for a very long time while not, apparently, doing anything; the hours sitting over a keyboard, pouring words onto a page; the asking of truly bizarre questions to your friends, hoping that they understand you're not about to kidnap some poor soul and stuff them in the basement. The one-sided conversations that your writer friend does not remember afterward. And all this time, the writer is busily telling a story, assembling something from nothing, creating worlds and people and putting flesh to bone.
But when a writer isn't writing, what to do?
For the last year and a half, I've first plotted out my novel version of Fidelio, then furiously written a truly awful draft ("The first draft of anything is shit," said Ernest Hemingway), then editing a lot, and rearranging chapters, then editing more, then making more adjustments, then more editing, and more rearranging, and so on until around a year from the time I started (which was November 2010), I was finally in possession of a draft I thought could be pitched without embarrassment. After making a few more tweaks, on the recommendation of my wonderful proofreader and fellow-Fidelio nerd, Lucy, I declared the whole thing done in January. Finished. Finito. No more work to be done on Fidelio.
I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
Seriously, when you devote something like 85% of your time to your creative endeavors, you're at a complete loss when they're finished. My brother can attest to this; he's watched me traipse around Berlin with something like alarm("Aren't you usually doing something right now?" "I caaaaaan't, because it's doooooooooone!"). The obvious answer is that I need to find something to occupy my mind, because writing query letters and reading is just not cutting it. But coming up with something to write is really not that easy. At least, not for me.
As a writer, I hoard certain things: mainly words and images. My Pictures folder is so full that my old computer occasionally staged a protest and forced me to delete ones I didn't actually need. But I use those pictures for inspiration-at least, I try to. Who knows, I may actually NEED that picture of my niece with tangerine eyes. the images are there for when I'm writing, to give inspiration and color and nuance, when I don't know what something looks like and need a pic to give me the words I need.
Right now I am at loose ends, because I have scores of images, no end of words to use, but I have no story to tell. I'm not ready for Fidelio to be finished: indeed, I find myself resenting the fact that it's over and done. But I need to write something, to have some story to tell myself on the train, or when class gets too dull. And I don't have that. What I DO have is a very clean apartment, lots of dvds, a stack of books, Wagner's complete Ring in cd form, and far too many hours watching television under my belt. I've visited castles, galleries, seen operas, explored this bizarre and interesting city I live in.
I'm so bored.
(All images are NOT owned by me)
(Please comment here; I don't always get the tweets you send me!)
5 comments:
" the asking of truly bizarre questions to your friends "
Being friends with a number of writers, some of strange questions I've been asked over the years still raise a smile, like the possibly of using a frozen chicken to kill someone (darn my forensics minor) by a friend writing a crime novel.
Also I know the felling of computer protests, my "make things" folder is larger than the hard drive of this computers predecessor (pictures of things I want to make model or reproduce)
Why don't you try and write an opera ? At least it's an excuse to do lots of research.
@Peter: I have heard that it's possible to take someone out with frozen poultry, provided the person wielding the bird is moving fast enough. But I think I need to get a lot more writing experience under my belt before I try to write an opera libretto. Someday, maybe.
My suggestion for your hard drive and inspiration pictures? Pinterest.com
As for being bored, perhaps taking some characters of yours and a friend with their own characters and writing a story with them via email or in an IM chat, under no pressure to sell, just to get some ideas out on paper and get plot ideas moving in your head. This usually creates a collaborative story on crack, but it keeps the writing and ideas alive. If you want to continue writing at the speed you just left off, this could help.
While it may be no substitute for Fidelio, what about sketching character portraits for the people you see while wandering around Berlin?* Or taking a group of acquaintances and imagining what would happen to them in a set historical period?**
*thing I do sometimes because I am a nerd
**ditto
@adarhysenthe: Oooh, Pintrest! I'll have to look into that. Good idea, thanks!
@Lucy: That could work. I used to do character profiles before, but fell out of practice when I started writing Fidelio. I'll have to get back into the swing of that! (And dude, you cannot be any more of a nerd than I am. I've missed bus stops while making up stories.)
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